Holding the tension: Watching the super bowl with my white family
by guest blogger Amanda Hambrick Ashcraft
Along with 101 million others, we had the Super Bowl on our television last Sunday.
During the pre-game, I was startled to see the Black National Anthem, “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” performed.
As a white person, it is not my space to comment on how this feels for people who identify as Black, but in the moment, I commented to my husband in what I thought was under my breath that it felt performative to me because the NFL is racist.
“What? The NFL is racist?” one of my twin seven-year-olds piped up.
“Yes, they are a racist organization.”
“Then why are we watching this?” he rightly implored.
“That’s a good question…and I’m not really sure it’s the right decision. We will continue to think about that, okay? Your Dad grew up with football as a part of his culture and even played it. The Super Bowl is a big event–so there is a familiarity in having it on, plus if you like watching sports, this is usually a well-matched, competitive game.
However, it’s really important that we can hold the tension here. That we name and understand the problematic racism upon which the NFL thrives, and that it’s a game between two good teams that a lot of people, including your dad, enjoy watching.”
“How are they racist?’ my seven-year-old continued…
“Well, for starters do you remember Colin Kaepernick? We’ve talked about him before and he’s the main character in that book we have, “Why Are They Kneeling.” He kneeled during the National Anthem before a game as a way to protest police brutality against Black and Brown people.
Specifically, he said:
“And after he spoke up, he was not allowed to play football in the NFL anymore! He lost his job. Just because he chose to protest nonviolently, peacefully, because he chose to make good trouble, like Rosa Parks, MLK Jr, John Lewis, and others we’ve learned about. So when we choose to watch a sport that knowingly ignores and actively punishes someone for speaking about the violence of white supremacy, we are participating in exploiting Black people’s trauma for the sake of our entertainment.
Secondly, you can tell a lot about an organization by the way they spend their money and by who is in leadership. There are currently only two NFL coaches who are Black right now, and there are ZERO Black owners. That right there is unequal and racist because of the disproportionate way money and power are distributed based on race.”
I stopped there, but could have also mentioned that professional sporting events, including the Super Bowl, are correlated with increased human trafficking. We haven’t broached that topic with our kids yet, but I feel it’s important to name it here. In retrospect, I wish I would have stopped and asked my kids how all of this information made them feel about having the game on. I didn’t, but I plan to revisit this with them soon.
“We have the ability to make decisions about how we spend our time and money. That is one way we can be engaged, intentional citizens who are working for an equitable world,” I continued. “We could choose to boycott the Super Bowl and the NFL and not watch at all, we can choose to watch as we are tonight while educating ourselves of the tension and racism present, and/or we can invest in causes that support Colin’s activism of protest. For example, we can donate some money to an organization Colin began called “Know Your Rights Camp.
Whatever we decide, it’s important to remember the privilege we bring to our decision as white people. Often, decisions about whether to speak up and take action is a reality that Black and Brown people don’t have because, for them, the risk of speaking up and taking action is far more severe than it is for white people. Like in this instance, where Colin spoke up and lost his job.
One thing we can do tonight is to read “Why Are They Kneeling” again and reflect on what decisions we want to make as individuals, and as a family.”
Do you watch the Super Bowl with your family? What conversations do you have? How do you hold this tension?
__
Amanda Hambrick Ashcraft (she/her/hers) is the Executive Minister at Middle Church and the founder of Raising Imagination, a platform that examines social issues through the lens of imagination and encourages activism with young and old alike. She’s been featured on CNN, MSNBC, the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, Crooked Media, and Refinery29. A lifelong learner, she is a white mother raising three white children in the East Village of Manhattan alongside her white husband, Graham.
Click here to register for Raising Race Conscious Children interactive workshop/webinar series.